Did you know that Tetris is being adapted into a big screen sci-fi epic? You’d be forgiven for blocking it out of your memory, but it really is happening. Producer Larry Kasanoff is hard at work turning an endless procession of falling blocks into a functioning narrative, but he insists that they have such a good idea that they can’t even fit it into one film.
“That’s correct,” he said when asked if rumors of a planned trilogy were true, “and purely because the story we conceived is so big. This isn’t us splitting the last one of our eight movies in two to wring blood out of the stone. It’s just a big story.”
So what is this ‘big story’? He wants it to be “a surprise,” but describes the film (sorry, films, I almost forgot) as “big science-fiction,” adding that, “No one has come remotely close to figuring out what we’re doing.” We know what it isn’t though: the only possible Tetris movie idea I had any interest in seeing.
“We’re not going to have blocks with feet running around the movie,” he said, “but it’s great that people think so. It sets the bar rather low!”
It’s honestly pretty endearing that Kasanoff not only thinks that he can make a workable Tetris film, but that he actually can, and will, make three of the damned things. Just like the Lionsgate CEO claiming the company could make seven Power Rangers films, this is all just nonsense Hollywood bluster — but Kasanoff really feels like he believes it. He’s found deeper meaning in Tetris, an epic sci-fi tale, and he really, genuinely seems to think there is an audience for it. In case you had any doubt left, allow him to explain the inspiration behind his blocks-falling-from-the-sky-to-catchy-Russian-folk-music epic:
“I came up with the idea as I was thinking about Tetris and the theme of creating order out of chaos.”