In the words of the fantastic electronic musician Planningtorock: “gender is a lie.” Seems like Maxis and their publisher EA are finally on board with the idea, because they’ve officially unlocked the vast gradient of fun possibilities that exists between ‘slightly-effeminate man’ and ‘slightly-masculine woman’. Or as they so officially put it in their press release on the Sims 4 website:
For the first time, you’ll be able to customize your Sims without the gender boundaries previously set in place. This means you can now create Sims with any type of physique, walk style, and tone of voice you choose – regardless of their gender.
Cool. Maybe Dora Diamant will want to take another crack at simulating the virtual failure of her very real relationship? Here are some examples of characters you’re able to create:
Now, if I were being a cynical person (which I’m not, I’m totally happy to be alive every day on earth, ok?) I might go through these four examples, gently mocking the lack of audacity of (let’s face it) a very mainstream game:
The first person is black and wearing a scarf.
The second person has long hair, lipstick, and square shoulders.
The third person is Asian.
The fourth person has breasts and is wearing a suit.
Haha Julian, ha-fucking-ha. Now if at this point in human history you find yourself shivering with anger at the very idea that people you’ve never met now have a (totally optional) set of parameters open to them, let me propose the following: first write a lengthy email, addressing it to yourself. Then press send and immediately get into a cold shower. Finally, curl up into the fetal position and repeat after me: “Times are changing and I’m scared. Times are changing and I’m scared. Times are changing and I’m scared.”