Well, it finally happened. This uncomfortable bracelet I’ve had to wear for months just turned orange and I’m being called in. All I wanted was a fucking Apple Watch. Thanks a lot, god.

It’s cold out here. Lots of snow. My footprints look cool, tho. Looking forward to some hot-chocolate-and-blanky time in between all this murder stuff.

Jesus, how many of us are there?! I’m in my first safe house and we’re having to fucking form a queue just to use this stupid laptop. Windows 8?! Ugh. Feeling less than special now. Plus some of these douches are wearing sunglasses indoors 🙁

Fortunately for us, every looter in Manhattan is wearing their fave hoodie; makes ’em easier to spot. I keep killing guys called Alex. Know this because their friends keep saying “they got Alex!” Maybe it’s the same guy and I keep slaughtering him over and over again? Pretty worried about this.

Does this puffy jacket match these work pants? How about this trendy jacket? No? I’ve changed jackets 7 times now. I’m supposed to be taking back New York. What’s wrong with me?

I’ve been stuck in Brooklyn for hours. They told me I’d get an extract, but the chopper never came. Classic New York public transportation bullshit. Can’t help but think there’s a bug in the system.

Got bored and started killing again. Are these people desperate or evil? Moral qualms about killing 1,200 of them in 4 hours but damn, my footprints look super rad.

I haven’t said anything for the last few hours. Not a word. Faye keeps talking to me, but all I do is nod with a ponderous expression on my face. At least the chopper finally came after I walked through the same door six times.

Spent 20 minutes gazing into the shiny folds of a pile of garbage. It was just so… beautiful. A single tear froze on my cheek.

Shot a dog. Was whimpering as it kicked the bucket. Feel awful now.

Shot a rat. felt nothing. But rats are just tiny dogs with shaved tails?

Today is lasting FOREVER. If I have to look at another Christmas decoration I’m gonna lose it. Wondering where all the Chanukah decorations are?

Stuck. Managed to climb down into a space between a garbage truck and a storage container, and now I can’t get out. I’m the worst paramilitary agent ever. Tried shooting the truck and the container, but that did nothing. Ricochets don’t even seem to be hurting me. Can’t climb over this pile of garbage either. It looks so, so good but smells so, so bad. I want to die. Thinking I’ll pop a grenade and be done with it. Shuffle off this mortal coil for good. If anyone finds this diary, just please tell my mother… wait a second. I can’t even remember what my mother’s face looks like. What’s happening to me?

WTF??? I killed myself and woke up seconds later in a different part of this refugee camp! What is this Kafka-esque bullshit? LET ME DIE, GOD! LET ME DIE! I DON’T WANT TO TAKE BACK NEW YORK ANYMORE! FUCK NEW YORK!

About The Author

Editor in jefe

Julian is a pair of glasses in third transformation. He's on an eternal quest to find the perfect RPG that will solve all his problems.

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